It wasn’t me

I keep going back to old texts,

Oh my sweet love,

The one I was always hoping to have babies with,

I was gonna elope with him.

But I wasn’t the one,

Every day I go thru memories,

That’s the only thing I can hold onto that reminds me of what we once shared,

They’re fading nd your existence is slowly being forgotten,

I wasn’t the one…

When the days were dark, I had to find my way on my own.

When nights were cold , I had to find ways to warm myself,

You were never there to light us my days nd keep me warm,

But I kept you close to my heart because I was scared that if I didn’t love you then who was I gonna give my heart to?!

I was scared that if it had not been you then who would find me,

Even when you didn’t go out looking for me, I had hope that some day you’d wanna find me,

When I’d held out my hand to you when you were lost, I thought you’d know what to do when I lost myself.

It wasn’t me,

I was never me.

I was never the first person you called when you needed an escape,

I was never the last one you called when you went to be,

I was an option, sometimes.

Yet you never forgot to tell me you loved me,

You just couldn’t show me you loved me because how do you show love where is none,

I spent days calling nd you never picked up my calls but I never stopped.

I spent nights worrying only for you to throw it in my face that I worry myself for nothing,

It wasn’t me.

Yet I stayed nd I broke my heart to pieces,

You reminded me that you never made promises to me so you had no obligation to keep any promises or expectations I might have.

It was never me.

💔😭

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