You spent your 20s on the pill to avoid pregnancy. And by some twist of fate you spend your 30s wanting that pregnancy. But Dololo.

Life is funny in that way.

If you have been following me on social media for the past seven years or so you will know that I have a daughter. I didn’t struggle to fall pregnant, it just happened. No complications. She is six years today.

Two years ago, a doctor told me that I have what they call early ovarian aging; that chances of me falling pregnant again are minimal. I thought it was a joke. My mom has five kids, my sister is on her second and I’ve already been pregnant once before. This simply just didn’t make sense to me. I walked out of that office with lots of papers to read and bloody shocked.

I’m not one for medical terms, but simply put Ovarian Aging is having low ovarian reserve. A low number of good quality eggs for one’s age. I watched Princess Diana’s funeral live on TV and was a teenager when Kwaito still ruled the SA music. I’m still young, but why do these fertility doctors keep throwing the term “advanced age” when referring to ladies in my age group? I thought we agreed that advanced age is post 45 😅

As women grow older the reserves decline – unlike men who produce them million swimmers on a daily – and women don’t reproduce eggs. You are born with a set amount of around 300,000 eggs and steadily lose them as you ages. With just 12 percent of those eggs remaining at the age of 30. Basically, mine were diminishing faster than women in my age group. Boy I wish I was average in this instance.

It took me a year to process this information. For about six months I didn’t talk about it, I almost convinced myself that it doesn’t matter; life goes on. But it did matter because I wanted another kid. I always tell my friends that the one thing I am REALLY good at is being a mom. The rest are arguable 😊

I felt alone. I felt like my body was dysfunctional and a let down. What have I done wrong? Was it my diet? Was it the pill? I drove myself crazy with this. And the questions you guys ask on the twitter streets “when are you going back for seconds?” I didn’t know how to answer those.

Fertility is something we take for granted. I will be writing posts about this journey to share with you what I’ve – been and still going – through.

I hope that sharing the next couple of posts will help someone out there.

follow me on twitter @SemakalengM

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