What Energies Are You Sending?

Ex shag/whatever wethu resurfaces some time last year. It has just hit him that he loves me 😂😂😂. I am the one, his one and he must, has to have me back. I am surely looking and sounding better than before. He even makes reference to my girlfriend and how great she has been for me, and ultimately for him as I am his. 😂😂😂

 

Awabhadlanga amadoda kodwa. 

 

Anyway, I see no reason to be mad at guy, also my old triggers are activated and I’m entertained by this. I’ve joyfully and painfully come to the realization that, I love attention. It has got to a place of, I’d do anything and even risk it all just for a bit of attention (a story for another day). I enjoy the attention even though I communicate clearly, I am not his and want nothing to do with him in that way.

 

But energies right.

I am saying all this, I don’t want you business, but deep down I’m loving the attention, entertain his crap, and im hella entertained. He picks up those energies strongly, because its the kinda energies he feeds off on.

 

He starts being pushy and aggressive, just a notch up so I can see he’s being serious about me, about us. I pick up on those energies and panic. I start looking for ways to block him out, block on social media, block calls, block thoughts, block, block, block😂😂😂.

 

Kodwa guy is pushing on more aggressively, because energies.

Guy is feeding off on my fears and insecurities. He’s having a field day at this point, because he has me. He uses other numbers to call me, even threatening to cone knocking at my door, at my house, where I live with my girlfriend. The fucker is having such fun holding me at ransom and he knows. Now he’s even bringing it to my house, my girlfriend, my kids. 

 

How did I get here? Me, a woman who has been doing so much self work this past year, finds herself in a place where she escaped on her clutches prior, with barely  a self to hold on to.

 

I remember, i need to handle this. I do not need to be nice in handling this and I do not need ex shag/whatever to approve of the way I handle this. I get right on it and handle this shit. I start with myself and what triggered this lapse to begin with…my love for attention.

 

Guy immediately picks up on my, I’m handling this shit energies, and pushes even stronger. I’m not amused, unmoved not even by the sound of his threats. He finds no insecurities to feed off on, in this new energy I was sending out. He tries again, a little softer this time, focusing more on my love, no need for attention. But your girl does not budge. He hates this, he hates me. What wrong did he do, my energy no longer serves him, no longer serves him life.

 

Suddenly guy feels a shift in my energy. Suddenly I’m not the one, his one anymore. At this point I’ve stopped caring, I’ve even forgotten about him.

 

He realizes he’s lost me and leaves it all at that, and leaves me alone. He moves on to more urgent matters in his life. And me, I’m just happy to know that I stan me! I’m happy to know I stan my energies. That I’m attracting the kinda things and people I want in my life through energies I send out in life.

 

Guard yourself. Align and realign all the time. Learn and unlearn when required. 

 

Know your energies 💜

I am Ntombekhaya Tyantsi on facebook.

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