Agony Aunt: Squeeza #2

Dear Squeeza,

Most times when I have $ex my v***** makes an embarrasing fart sound, this is preventing me from enjoying $ex as I am now self conscious. How do I stop this?

Embarrassed

Dear Embarrassed,

I’m not an expert on $ex but sometimes this is caused by the vigorous actions and air that is pumped in and out of which is very normal. If you feel this might not be the case, please consult your gynecologist. Good luck.

Regards
_____

Dear Squeeza,

I was so ready to leave my boyfriend, by now I just found out I’m pregnant. I haven’t even told him yet

Regards,
Second Thougths

Dear Second Thoughts,

Remember one thing, the reasons why you wanted to leave him in the first place will exist whether pregnant or not…

The coming of the baby will not suddenly change or erase issues you had/have with him, unless you were leaving him because he couldn’t make you pregnant…?

He may be a very good father to your child one day but he doesn’t do a good job of being your boyfriend right now.

90% of the time, children don’t strengthen a shaky relationship but actually break it and themselves in the process.

I’m not encouraging you to be a single parent ubut I want you to be a happy parent.

Good luck.
____

Dear Squeeza,

My daughter was away at her dad’s mom’s place, she came back rather reserved and now has this tendency to just suddenly get a shiver and look very scared.

Worried Mom

Dear Worried Mom,

Please try and talk to her. Maybe she saw something that scared her, it might not be big but kids scare easily.

Also, find out from the mother if anything happened that could explain her sudden change in attitude.

Remember, do not accuse the mother of anything cause fighting won’t help the child. If need be, take her to see a child therapist.
____

Dear Squeeza,

Met this one girl and later found out she has a twin sister; somehow I found myself in bed with the sister the too. Is it wrong to sleep with them both, they’re practically one person?

Dear Undercover Polygamist,

Same time? If both sisters are aware of this factor and give consent then all is well for all three of you. But they are not one person so stop fooling yourself.
____

Dear Squeeza,

She’s still hung up about her ex and I love her so much. She says she wishes she could be with me but she can’t feel the same way. What should I do?

Confused

Dear Confused,

Ask yourself this question, do you want to invest your time and love on someone who has one foot in or do you want want the whole package?

Sometimes we like to believe we can make work but when it doesn’t we feel cheated and wronged whereas it was not there from the word go.

Remember, feelings are very tricky and no one can really make a person feel what they can’t. Love needs to come from both sides and if forced, hearts get broken badly.

Think about it… At least she’s being honest.
____

Dear Squeeza,

I am unemployed and care for my elderly parents, when my brother who works in Joburg is home my parents are mean to me, but they’re fine when he is gone. Why mara?

Broke and Broken

Dear Broken,

How I wish I had answers for all the confusing things our parents did…

The only thing I can tell you is that they love and appreciate you but they are from a generation that doesn’t know how to properly express their feelings and we are from a generation that wants appreciation…

Do you see the conflict? I would suggest you gently alert them to how their behavior is hurting you… Gently!

But be prepared for the fact that they might not get your point immediately or admit but it will work out.

Sometimes we need to be the “bigger person” when dealing with our parents. Good luck.
____

Dear Squeeza,

I’m a new bride and still very much in love with my husband but I think I might also be developing feelings for his older brother too. Is it normal?

Greedy Bride

Dear Greedy Bride,

That will depend on what kind of feelings.

Maybe what you are developing is kinship feelings like those you would have for your own brother but it may seem confusing to you as the person is new in your life.

If this is not the case and you have romantic feelings for the older brother, please do the right thing and put both brothers out of their misery by ending this mess as it will not end well at all.
____

Dear Squeeza,

My Mother-in-Law is highly critical of everything I do, I tried for two years now to impress her. I have reached a point where I no longer want to visit her house.

Determined Bride

Dear Determined Bride,

Unfortunately it is very rare that one is ever able to impress their mother in law!

We even struggle to impress our own mothers at times and that is mainly caused by generation gap amongst other factors.

Be greatful that you don’t stay with her every day and s*ck it up for the few days that you visit her because you love her son.

Remember, always be respectful even if she might not be, and never speak bad about her infront of her grandkids!
____

Dear Squeeza,

We are in a Long Distance Relationship and I visit him once every three months, but when I am at his place he insists we chill with his friends. They even sleep over when I am there.

Concerned

My dearest Concerned,

You are not wanted there. Please value yourself, save your time for someone who wants you around.

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