I’ve been running into the story about Usher’s child custody battle on a news site I usually visit. I didn’t bother much about it because it just struck me as another celebrity saga that the media is capitalizing on for sales, viewership and web hits.
I decided to actually read the article and learn about the whole court drama and emotional tug of war, which got me asking myself one question. Why do some couples use children as weapons to hurt each other?
You find that one of the parents wants full custody of the kids for financial gain, while the other wants them in order to avoid having any obligations to the ex, or it is to simply destroy them by taking away what they love the most. I wonder if they ever stop to think about what’s best for the kids instead of using them as ammunition or a meal ticket.
I find it unfair that children get robbed of what they love the most, and that is equal parenting. Even though their young minds cannot define the concept yet. I’m not saying people should stay in a marriage or relationship for the sake of the children.
I’m saying that if all egos and malicious intent are put aside, then we can truly say that the kids’ interests were the main priority, even when the parents have went their separate ways.
You don’t have to live under the same roof as your ex in order to be an active part of your child’s life. Just be there when they need you and also allow them to have an equally strong relationship with their other parent.
Of course there are those negligent ones who don’t take care of the innocent little lives they dragged to earth. I’m not talking about those because they are not worthy of the term “Parent.” They are just vessels with no sense of urgency for responsibility.
A mother and a father are every child’s first reflection and understanding of the world around them.
Parents are the foundation of a child’s development and how they treat each other and love their child is how the child learns to feel about themselves and others. Children raised in conflict grow up with a void that impacts who they become in future. Their whole point of view of the world around them becomes negative and it has a detrimental influence on their self-esteem and confidence.
Parents in conflict are weapons of dysfunction with children having to suffer the consequences of a battle they had nothing to do with. What these elders don’t notice is that they are raising and shaping their kids to be their own worst enemy by not giving them a peaceful and amicable upbringing.
Parents should realize that regardless of what the nature of their relationship may be, they have a priority to focus on, and that is providing emotional, mental and spiritual support as much as safety, security and financial well-being for the little lives they are responsible for.
What do I know? I’m not a parent yet, but I was a child once and if my parents had to fight for me and claim that it’s love, it would have made me view myself as an object and I would also probably grow up treat those I claim to love as objects too.
If you hurt someone I love and claim that you’re doing it for me, how am I gonna grow up feeling about you because you actually hurt me with your selfish intentions?
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