Agony Aunt: Dimamzo #1

Dear Dimamzo,

Met a guy online, and I fell in love with him :-). But when we met in person I lost interest within an hour. He is great on the phone and online, am I being selfish if I only just wanna interact with him online?

Regards,
Disappointed

Dear Disappointed,

You didn’t give this guy a chance though. Some people are shy during face to face first time encounters, unless you didn’t like the way he looks then that’s a different story 😕.

Otherwise, I believe this is how “friend zone” was created. Be honest with him and tell him that you enjoy his company but you have no feelings for him nor do you have any intention of a romantic connection with him.

Be honest but kind and you might gain a lifetime friend! Also, be sure because he will move on from you!

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Dear Dimamzo,

Dating a very great guy, but yhuuuuuuu insecurities. I am always reassuring him that I love him, but he always insists I am in love with my exes or finds something else to start a fight with. Sizani bo!

Regards,
Ngikhathele

Dear Ngikhathele,

Baleka ngenyawo zombini! Seriously though, no matter what you say to him he would never believe you love only him because he possibly has his own issues of self love.

This might stem from his childhood or previous experiences but until he deals with his personal issues, he will always have insecurities.

As much as you love him, this won’t end well for you and there is no other way to put it. You will always have to work over time to make him happy while you lose yourself piece by piece. Good luck!

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Dears Dimamzo,

Met this wonderful lady, we click and stuff. But my friends keep teasing me about just how big she is. Everytime I am in public with her I see people staring, it’s making me uncomfortable.

Regards,
Doubting Thomas

Dear Thomas,

I’m really trying to understand what is making you uncomfortable. You like her as she is I want to believe, now why allow others opinions to dictate how you should feel?

You must always remember that at the end of the day you only have yourself to please! Weight can be lost just as beauty can fade but personality doesn’t change. Be true to yourself NOT your friends. Good luck.

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Dear Dimamzo,

Just bought a car, now my parents dont want to take a taxi anywhere. I have stopped livin my life and am driving them around to malls, friends’ houses, church, town. And guess who pays for petrol when it runs out?

Regards,
Abused

Akho Abused ya Nix apha

Sweetie, that is called being African😁. Let your parents enjoy their achievement.

I say that because you buying a car is their achievement after they have gone through a lot to raise you and they probably want everyone to see them in your car.

Just let them be for now, it’s a phase, it will pass but if u make noise about it, it will spoil the relationship you have with your parents. Keep Calm and drive them around for a bit 😘

______

Dear Dimamzo,

I have a very abusive father and recently met a great guy I love. It took me a while to trust him, but eventually I opened up to how my father treats me and my father. And suddenly he treats me the same way my father does. How do I make it stop?

Regards,
Betrayed

This will not be easy to take… But LEAVE HIM! The reason I say this is coz he doesn’t respect u otherwise he would do the best he can to make sure he never makes you feel like how your father ever made you feel.

Sometimes it’s important NOT to disclose your family issues or even previous relationships issues to your new partner until you are absolutely sure about how they feel about you…

Until they have proven with actions how they feel about. Sometimes we give ourselves too early and too easily and we reveal too much which gives immunition to use against you. He doesn’t respect you… Sadly.

Take care of yourself please.
_____

Dear Dimamzo,

I am a 28 year old woman, I consider myself an attractive woman, and I am professional and able to take care of myself, but my romantic relationships never seem to last.

The hardest thing an individual ever has to do is look inside oneself and ask “what may I need to change in me to achieve what I want/need?”.

Maybe your target market (the type you like) is not connecting with your energy…

You might have to change that. It could also be that maybe subconsciously, you are not really ready for/to submit yourself fully to someone for a long term relationship…

If this is the case, your energy will attract short term people. As much as it’s easy to point fingers, we need to also remember that relationships are actually about a whole lot of self sacrifice.

We tend to think it’s only about sacrificing mild or material things but it is about giving your whole (yes, I said “whole”) self to this person and this project. unfortunately, in this day and age, this is hard coz majority don’t respect the institution of relationships.

You need to keep taking care of yourself, be the kind of person you want to be and the universe will reward you with what you need when the time is right. Don’t be hard on yourself, you are still young. Stand strong!

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Dear Dimamzo,

I’m unhappy with the way my body looks, I have gained a lot of weight over the past few years. Can you help me fnd a way to lose the weight and keep it off?

Regards,
Unhappy

Oh sweetie,
Join the club :). on a serious note, what I have experienced is that eating a balanced diet and moderate exercise (3 times a week at least – nothing hectic) works better. The one thing the body needs is consistency.

If you eat clean (minimise on hard sugars and processed carbs) and do cardio (running or brisk walking), and you repeat and be disciplined, you will see results. unfortunately, this takes a bit longer to see results but it lasts, so be patient. Using weight loss products gives quick results, but they don’t last unless you always use the product

Do your own research and make your own decision but always remember CONSISTENCY and PATIENCE is the key. Good luck and if you find what works, please share 😉

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I’m the resident Agony Aunt, send your questions anonymously to qooh.me/DimamzoSqueeza

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