Did you know that the inside of your mind looks like candy floss? by Gugu
Really. It does. I promise you.
Tastes like cherry too, if your in a good mood. If you like cherry.
Sometimes, it tastes like tomato sauce. Thats only when you’re hungry though.’
Trust me. I know. You should always trust a person who says Trust Me.
Thats a fact.
Its also a fact that Mars Bars harbour aliens, and Obama’s the main spybot from Mars.
The head honcho. Went straight for the head too. What better way to take over the planet by becoming American President. His plan is unfailing. First, terrorise the white people. Let them panic and work themselves into a melting, sweaty frenzy over taxes and Obamacare and all these other things I don’t really care about.
And then, when they’re all in a tangled mess and the head office honchos are busy being confused, he and Michelle will suddenly grow an afro and walk around barefoot in loincloths and dashikis blabbering in unintelligible African languages. And he’ll marry two more wives, Zuma style. The white people will lose their minds.
While all that’s happening, the immigrants and the humbled, hustling foreigners will unknowingly unleash the higher ranking Mars bar aliens from Mars, who have been hiding in bars, by suddenly being compelled to get an education and making leaders out of those who show merit. They’ll no longer pander for the right to vote, they’ll just be drawn to higher principles – people of higher character – and the Mars Bar aliens will prosper.
Then its all over. The American Empire and the secret tower of mind control radiation waves that they beam to us on the TVs will suffer from neglect and misuse. All the technicians will be either a smouldering pile of politically disgruntled mush or enjoying spending all of their time getting stoned and watching pornos because the bosses are lying smouldering in a corner of the office.
And once America fails, the whole world follows suit. All the chocolate chips and confectionary aliens who have been hiding mildly away in the corner of old grocery stores, biding their time, will unleash their cocoa flavoured fury.
Governments and TV stations all over the world will fall. The humble and the hustling will form bustling queues at libraries and universities and presidents will suddenly start wearing dashikis and marrying more fat wives.
Trust me. I know it…
But I digress, your mind looks like candy floss. Your heart looks a little like a baseball. Sometimes cricket or tennis depending on what social class you are. But that’s just yours specifically. Mine looks like something else. Mine looks a little feathery. I’ve been trying to make it tough because somebody said I have to if I want to survive in this world. Doesn’t really work though. Life’s not that fun.
I think I like it feathery. The feathers are made of spikes. It looks innocent. But it can kill you.
That is all, my lovely furry friend.
It’s okay. I don’t mind the whiskers, all little fairies have a little bit of fuzz growing in silly places just to be obnoxious. It makes us beautiful.
I am Gugu Kweli Kheswa on facebook