Conversations With God

How are you?
Are you okay?
Are you lonely?
Are you sad?
Are you lying?
Are you sure?
Am I asking you difficult questions?

Am I scaring you?
I don’t mean to scare you
How are you? Really. How are you?
Are you tightly restrained by the unforgiving muscles in your neck?
Are your hands aching, yearning for the tenderness of touch?

Is that anything? Is that fine?
Am I way off the mark here? Are you free?
Do you find me invasive, obnoxious?
Do you consider me at all?
Do you know that I am missing you?

Do you know that I am remembering you?
Vague like memories of dew drops at midnight, I am remembering you.
Like dreams of floating off, shadows in moonlight, I remember you
Do you remember how to make the sound of your old voice?

It was bold and sweet and somehow made lyrical the airy pull of long winded sentences
Kind of like this one. Like the ones I pull out of nervousness, stumble over when I try talk to you.

I miss the sound of your old voice. I miss your carelessness, the slight swaying of shoulders
The way you walk loose and free and untethered
To anything that would try to reach you – always elusive to contain.

You are dewdrops. Did you know that you are dew drops?
Mystical form in night: Rejuvenation, Pleasure
You are due drops of my purest essence extracted from the deepest of
My Self, and Love
You are My Self, and Love
Am I scaring you?

Am I loving you in ways that are too old and subtle
Not fierce and fire enough?
I can be feirce and fire enough.
For you, I have always been fierce and fire enough
I have always been afraid of scaring you
My Self and Love

But I have been missing you
I am lonely
I am lying
I am sad
I am missing you.

I am Gugu Kweli Kheswa on facebook

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