Change Because You Want to Change

We often try so hard to change who we are in the hopes that someone out there will look at us and say “Now that is someone I would like to get to know more.” Yet when you have a constant need to change everything about you in order for someone to find the changes to their liking then you start to wonder why you are changing yourself in whatever way.

Shouldn’t your partner find you as you are, fall for that you that needs no changing? I believe that one of the best lessons I have learned in life is to love me for who I am thus allowing others the same.I had an ex girlfriend who would look at me and say “how come you are so confident?” What I read in that question was the underlying message, the question seemed to be asking, you are chubby/thick/chunky/fat so why is it that as thick/chunky/fat/chubby as you are you have such confidence?

I told her that I realised that life was way too short to worry about people liking you. I do not care that people look at me and see a “sdudla” or whatever. I am all that, for sure, but there is much more to me than just the extra kilograms I carry.

I Love fiercely,
Dance crazily,
Laugh loudly
and Live lively!

Another ex of mine once told me about a girl she dated who asked her about me, saying “how come you are always going on about my weight, yet you dated TJ who is bigger than me…” and my ex’s reply was that “yes, she is bigger than you but that has never been an issue for her, she loves herself as she is.”

I smiled at this.
There seems to be this belief that because you are not stick model thin/average in weight then no one will love you or you will only attract the “ugly” people as partners. uhm… I believe that my girlfriend is gorgeous, and I know that I am not the only one who thinks so, others do too.

What I bring to any union I enter into is myself as a whole person with a content self. I have a personality, I am not the bluntest tool in the shed and I just exude an inner strength that people are able to see past the extra kilos and see the person that is me.

So my message here is that only change if you want to change. Do not change because you think it puts you in better stead to find a partner/make friends. Do it because the person that you are needs that change for herself and herself alone.

I believe that there is someone for each one of us. So just because Onthatileng does not like big girls does not mean that Ontiretseng will feel the same.

Love you.
And they will love you too!

I am Thandeka TJ Jwaha on facebook

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