Baby Daddy

So I had to wait this long to say this to you
I wasn’t spiritually prepared before

But now I’m ready to say these things to you
Now I’m not saying all I’m about to say because I’m blaming you

No, not even close
I just feel I need to tell you how the journey felt without you

Cause we’ve never really shared those feelings before
The love I had for you was amazing

Almost Godly but not at all
I loved you with all I had
But you know all this right?

What you don’t know is when I was scared almost suicidal
I loved you still

When I felt like a failure, mediocre
I loved you still

When I got the stares and the whispers
I loved you still

When I felt alone, big, ugly and uncomfortable
I loved you still

And when I was in the worst pain I have ever felt in my life
I loved you still

And then I held this tiny life in my hands
My heart just opened up
And a new kind of love flowed through my veins
But guess what?
I was loving you still

Even after the false promises and disappearing acts
My heart was beating for you still

And when I had the most raw hatred towards you
I was loving you still

Actually makes me laugh a little now, thinking about all this
You had absolutely no idea the amount of love I had in my heart for you
But that’s okay

That doesn’t matter now
Because although it felt at that time as if you took something away from me
You gave me the most precious gift of all
The amazing thing about time and growing up is

Even though I see your face on one tiny other face everyday
I don’t feel the resentment I once felt before

It’s just a shame you will never get to experience all this unconditional love
I get to feel every single day, the kind of love I had given you

I am Neo Letsoela on facebook

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