I studied Medicine immediately post matric. I got through to the only university I applied to.
Into the program I wanted because ever since I saw that one Carte Blanche episode where they were doing heart transplants on children I got it into my head that I wanted to be a Paediatrician.
I was 15years old when I made my decision.
My subject choice in grade 10 were aligned to this vision…
But after I failed the first year and repeated and the second year was even worse I knew that I could no longer do it.
The pictures depict a message I wrote to a friend during 2011 when I had decided that studying Medicine was taking a lot more from me than it was worth.
It was not an easy decision. I had never struggled before academically so the failure was truly devastating but what I could not stand was how I could not recognize ME. I was a shell. I was so bleak. I was just perpetually unhappy.
Even when I would try and have that smile on my face, it just didn’t last long.
I still recall lots of darkness during that time. I was depressed. I know this in hindsight.
My mom and dad were troopers. They had paid for my three years there and shuuuu I was feeling bad about wasting their money but they saw what it was doing to me and when I said that this was not for me anymore they told me that it was okay. It is not the end of the world.
I cried so much during that time.
I kept thinking of all the people I was letting down.
But more than anything, I thought about how I was letting myself down.
But looking back, I don’t regret the decision I made.
I chose me.
I chose happiness.
And it was the best decision I ever made for myself.
I am happier than I ever imagined possible.
Yes, the profession has many many problems and I am feeling the pinch but I love what I do so much that even those don’t dampen my spirit.
So I am grateful that I was in a position to choose me and that my parents were supportive of my decision.