This is how I overcame my self-doubt

I honestly cannot explain how happy I was when I received the invite to write on this site. For a moment I kept my DM open, so I could glance at the invite each time I got a chance to as I was driving to work on that Saturday morning. I was also very weary because good things like this hardly ever happen to a girl like me. However, I must point out that I have been getting a lot of positive feedback on my writing even though I am not trained and I was not aware that I could write anything at all until I decided to take a chance on myself and put one word after another on my new blog https://omgitsthabile.wordpress.com/

After the excitement wore off I experienced an overwhelming bout of self doubt!!  Then an influx of self-doubting questions began, why me? why now? am I really good at this? I am I experienced enough to put myself and thoughts out there? Who knows how many people will read my posts? Based on the posts on this site these are seasoned writers with qualifications? Why do I want to embarrass myself? Though the intro on the site does say that every aspiring writer is welcome but surely they don’t mean a girl from Tembisa who studied Accounting and still working hard at building her career? They were not talking about a single mother, who only had 6 posts on her blog at the time of the invite? They not talking about a single mother who is juggling, motherhood, studies and a new found passion and the career that pays her bills!! Surely someone out there made a mistake, soon I will get a DM from them apologizing profusely for raising my hopes so high and I will go back to my life with a tail between my legs.

When the positive DMs kept coming. I had to pull my self towards my self!! PRESS PAUSE and realize that though its true that things have not always come easily to me, this could be my break, this could be an answer from God to my lifelong prayer asking him to help me find my purpose and passion. Though I am not qualified, someone out there saw my raw talent and felt a need to give me a bigger platform than my 212  and 360 twitter and Instagram followers respectively. Someone out there felt my voice deserved a louder microphone and a bigger stage. Someone felt my thoughts should be shared with the world, not just my friend, colleagues, and family.

From that moment on I realized how blessed I am for this platform and how grateful to the people of “I write what I like” for believing in me. I decided to face my fears and hold the bull by its horns. I hat stop procrastinating and put my thoughts on this internet paper. It was also imperative for me to stop comparing myself to the amazing writers on this site but find my own voice and use it as best as I can. My goal from then on was to use this platform to the best of my abilities.

Hi, my name is Thabile Ntando Ngubeni and I plan to crush my self-doubt and write my heart out on this blog…

Twitter: @thabien

Instagram: @omgitsthabile

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